Tuesday, July 24, 2007

His Grace

She just received a letter today..., from a dear friend whom she recently got acquainted..., through an unusual way... This lady friend has been a true example for her..., about believing in the Lord's providence..., she has been blessed with her friend's sharing all these times... This is something she would keep for life..., in understanding more of the dear Lord's way..., in providing for His beloved children... His eyes never leaves His beloved ones...

Sometimes the night was beautiful
Sometimes the sky was so far away
Sometimes it seemed to stoop so close
You could touch it but your heart would break
Sometimes the morning came too soon
Sometimes the day could be so hot
There was so much work left to do
But so much You'd already done



Sent: Tuesday, July 24, 2007 10:14 AM
Subject: Hola: on the Move

Hola mis Familia y Amigos,

Well it has come time for me to move. The packers were here all day and will be back to finsh packing up our belongings. Then on Wed and Thursday they will load the truck. There is a tree being planted in memory of Dan on Little Creek base. After the ceremony Danielle and I will head for our new home. Well mine anyways. Hers temporarily. Heidi and Ilene, she flew in to see heidi, are driving down to help me unpack and get settled in.

My new business is shaping up and I hope to have it running by Sept. I already have orders coming in. One of the movers has put an order in too. Here is what I will be doing. Imprinting. I have bought a puzzle machine, a cup heat press and a Flat heat press which will allow me to imprint just about anything that is realtively flat up to in inch thick. I'm looking forward to taking some of my photos and imprinting them on tiles and also making them into puzzles.

Well I promised that I would let you all know what has been happening since Dan' s death. One I have been setting up my business, I have been working on adopting Ray, my oldest granson, who Dan and I have had custody of since he was one. This will enable Ray to get death benefits from social security. They require that Ray be adopted and an actual child of ours before he qualifies for benefits. It didn't matter that Dan was his sole support for four years and that I would continue to be his guardian. that process is almost done. I have had all my home visits and and been investigated quite well. The adoption agency that handled the home studies and did all the investgating has approved me and has sent the forms and approval notice to my lawyer. all it needs now it to be approved by a judge. And it will be final. I have not yet put my house up for sale because i need to maintain a residence in Virginia until the adoption is complete. So Danielle and I will come back here and finish some projects that Dan and I started and did not quite get finished. it will much easier to do with everything out of the house. althoug we do have the upstairs bathroom almost finished and the master bath room is about half way. I have been getting Ray ready for school as well. He will start kindergarten this year. I bought a Bishon as a companion for Ray and I. Dakota and Danielle will be moving to where ever her husband Rick gets stationed. It is in the works for him to go to Camp Addleberry in Indiana to be an instructor there.

The Lord continues to bless. I also promised to tell you all about how the Lord has taken care of me during this time. Where to start? Most of you know that we spent 3 years in Spain at Naval Station Rota. that was our fiisrt duty station. Dan then got assigned to Derson 2. He was suppose to do this for two years but in the middle of his assignment they created the OMC, Operational Ministy Center. They switched Dan's orders from Desron 2 to the OMC and extended his time here one more year. It is the norm to start searching for your next duty assignment a year in advance. So since we thought Dan was only going to be here for two year we started to pray about his next assignment almost as soon as we got here.

Now usually when we pray about this something usually jumps out at us when we are looking at openings. This time nothing. We prayed and prayed some more and still nothing. well we went ahead and made a "wish list" of the places we thought would be interesting. And then we prayed some more. we ad made ours choices based on location in relation to where our daughters lived and to whatever openings were on the Marine side. dan wanted to do his Marine time while he was still relatively young. Through this whole process the Lord was silent. No nudges no sense of peace just a blank silence. So we thought maybe the Lord didn't want Dan in the Navy anymore. Ok then if not what and where then? We prayed some more. Dan researched different types of ministries and we prayed about each one and still the silence, nothing. We did this for almost two years. Dan finally decided to stay in the Navy until he had clear guidance from God on what to do.

While he was deployed for six months Dan emailed and told me to open an account in my name. In the 24 years we had been married we have never had a seperate account now Dan was insisting that I do this. Then in the fall after he got back from deployment I decided to get a credit card in my name to establish credit in my name. Again I had never seriously thought to do this before. About a year earlyier I had started to save some money to start my own business. In hind sight I can see the hand of God working to make sure I was set for the time of Dan's death. These were not the only things that happened.

Dan's Commador allowed him to come home a month early from deployment so we could celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. The girls gave us a wonderful party to celebrate in early December since we thought he was getting home in late December. Out pastor here in Deep Creek told Dan of a hunting place where he go to hunt squirrel. So he got to do that several times. He got to deer hunt with his brother one last time. Scott, his friend when Dan would call him at work alwys seemed to get another call on another line or some one would come to his office and their conversations only lasted about five minutes. The friday before Dan died he called his friend and they were not interupred for about 20 minutes. God gave him this time with his friend one last time. Our nephew Jason drives truck and is somtimes in the area. Everytime jason would happen to be in the area he would call and ask if we could get together. Everytime Dan and i were on our way ut the door to attend afunction of one sort or another. One day in the week before Dan died jason called, he was in town. I almost told him that Dan was not able to come and see him when I looked at the clock and noticed the time. Dan would be leaving the base soon. I gave Jason his cell phone # and told him to call Dan. They were able to get together and spend time together one last time.

In December Dan finally got to see all of the grandbabies at one time. Our whole family was together except for Danielle's new husband who was in Kosovo. Dan even got to perform Danielle's wedding ceremony since the Commador allowed him to come home early. We got to spend one more Christmas together and his 46th birthday was spent in California at Ilene's place. We finally got to meet TC's parent who had been wanting us to come and visit every since Ilene and TC got married but it never seemed to work out until then. We celebrated the Chinese New Year with TC's family in California. While we were there Dan started talking about how we should get some burial plots. And he wondered if there was any spots left up at Tunnel Hill Chapel where we got married. One week to the day of Dan's death We got to see one of our daughters give her heart to the Lord. I had never heard our pastor to ask for a show of hands of those who had given their heart to Lord when he had prayed at the end of the service. Danielle raised her hand. God had given this special blessing to Dan before He took him home.

After we came home and about a week before Dan died we were out for our normal evening walk. As usual we talked about whatever was on our minds. This night we were discussing once again whether he should stay in the navy or if the Lord wanted him else where. Several times before we had talked about what we would do if one of us died and Dan would always say Grace you'll be fine the Lord will look after you. We also touched on this subject that night of our walk as well. What was different that night was not his expressed wish that the Lord would take him home. He had sad that before. But that night he said "I don't know whats wrong with me. I'm tired of moving and just want to stay still. The best thing that could happen is if the Lord would take me home right now." Dan had never before expressed a desire to not move around. He loved meeting new people and exploring new places. Just recently I realized that Dan had also started talking about taking Ray hunting that year. This was also unusual because in Dan's opinion a child of 4 should not be out hunting.

In hind sight I can see God's hand preparing me for that night of his accident and what was to come after. God has sent so many special people into my life to help me thru this time. Starting with the first person to show up at the accident. A lady who was traveling in the opposite direction then Dan and I were happend to be an EMT. She seen the accident starting to happen and called 911 as it was happening. Thank God she did because I couldn't figure out how to use Dan's cell phone and called Danielle by accident or probably not an accident after all but a part of God's plan. I have no idea how I called her because I was pushing buttons and the 911 #'s. It was great because Danielle was able to go across the street to a military ombudsman and was able to notifiy Dan's commanding officer's right away. She was also able to get to the hospital where they life flighted Dan.(Richmond) To look at Dan you would not have thought he was seriously injured. Outwardly he only had a couple inch gash on the back of his head that didn't bleed much. He wasn't all scratched up nor were his clothes. They decided to life flight Dan becuase he was non responsive to us. He was awake but incoherent. He just kept saying to help him because it hurt and kept trying to stand up. The lady EMT that stopped to help and I had a hard time keeping him still. We finally managed to get him to sit and lean back agaisnt me on the ground. That was the best we could do. I'm glad the emergency unit got there quick. while Dan was being Life flighted Ray and i drove to the VMC (??) in Richmond. While we were driving Ray said " Grandma there were three and now there is only two." That hit me hard but I prayed "Your will be done." God's way of preparing me for what I would be told later I guess.

After I got to the hospital and the doctors ran some tests I was told that Dan's injuries were non opperable. His aorta had split vertically all the way from his heart to where it splits to go into the legs. this was a rare occurance. The Doctors said that most people don't make it to the hospital with this kind of injury and if they do make it most don't survive once they get there. This injury coupled with his head injury made it impossible to opperate. Which was perfectly fine because Dan never wanted to be hooked up to machines and kept alive. Nor did they even have a choice as to trying to resucitate him. God granted his wish that when he died he would be left alone and not brought back. The Doctors that worked on dan were all christians. After they gave me the news about Dan's injuries we gathered in a circle and prayed, their idea not mine. The lady chaplain that was on duty that night was a literal God send. I don't know what I would have done without her.

Chaplains from the OMC office came and gave us support and made sure we got home safely. it would take another book just to explain how the military took care of me dring this time. They were truly an extended family. and God sure put us in the right spot when we bought our house. My neighbors were fantastic. I wish I could pack them up and take them with me when I move. Their love, care and prayers helped so much. Not only did the Lord send me wonderful people in my neighbors and the military but also at my bank. I wish I could pack them up as well. They just surrounded me with love and support when they found out my husbnd died. Now when I go in they always ask how I'm doing and give me a hug. Remember when I told you that Dan insisted that I have a seperate account. The Caco Officer (Casualty Assistance Officer) gave me a check of 100,000.00 dollars (from Dan's military Life insurance) and told me to open an account in my name because they would probably freeze our joint account for a while. I was able to tell him I already had one. After a while it also hit me that I already have credit established in my own name which is important at a time like this. It also hit me that I would now be able to buy the equipment for my business. Through Dan's military life insurance, our personal life insurance, a VA annuity, a military annuity and a church conference annuity I'm am taken care of financially. I was able to buy my new home out right, pay off our car loan and our credit cards in full. fills kind of weird not having any kind of debt except for the house payment, which will be done once I sell this house. Yes, the Lord has definately taken care of me just like Dan said he would.

There is so much more that God has done since Dan died including sending the Orkin man (termite inspector) just when I needed help unloading freight (my heat presses) off the back of a freight truck. That was trully an answer to prayer. And now the main guy that is packing up my belongings is a Christian. And when he found out that Dan had been a chaplain he asked if i had any books or things that he could have because he really wanted to study and grow in the Lord. I had already seperated some bible study books that I had originally planned to give to our pastor but had decided not to. And they were already in their own box. I had a great time today discussing with this young man the wonders of God. At every turn God has thrown these wonderful people in my way. Not only did this young man say that I have inspired him today by the way i have dealt with Dan's death but one of the ladies at the bank had a sister die suddenly at the age of 46. Same age as Dan and she had a 3 year old son whom her sister had babysat for while she and her husband worked. It was my turn to let her talk and to give a hug. Not only did I know where she was coming from in having a loved one die suddenly but I also knew first hand what it was like to deal with a preschooler during this time of loss.

I don't understand why the Lord decided to take Dan home. Sorry Rick, but this is one time I can honestly say "It was meant to be". "It was God's will!" No matter which way I look at it technically this accident should not have happened. The roads were perfect, a four lane divided by a grassy knoll and not a car, animal, gravel or pot hole in sight. I had the bike tested and there is nothing wrong with the bike. And the autopsy found nothing unusual with Dan. I honestly believe that if he had not been on that bike then something else would have happend that day. It also finally dawned on me why we were getting no answer to almost two years of prayer. God had other plans. While I miss Dan alot I have a peace about what has happened. I even have joy. It has been a weird and exciting time in my life because through all this God has revealed himself to me in so many ways. I know that sounds rather an odd way of talking about the death of your husband but there is not any other way of explaining it. As you can see the Lord has been at work and I didn't even tell half of what I could have.

Love and prayers.
Grace

PS sorry this was so long. Would love to hear from you all. If you email I will be off line for a few days while my things get packed and shipped to my new home.

CHORUS:
Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You
Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You
I will seek You in the morning
And I will learn to walk in Your ways
And step by step You'll lead me
And I will follow You all of my days

Sometimes I think of Abraham
How one star he saw had been lit for me
He was a stranger in this land
And I am that, no less than he
And on this road to righteousness
Sometimes the climb can be so steep
I may falter in my steps
But never beyond Your reach

CHORUS
And I will follow You all of my days
And I will follow You all of my days
And step by step You'll lead me
And I will follow You all of my days
And I will follow You all of my days
(Sometimes the night was beautiful)
And I will follow You all of my days

Sometimes By Step
Rich Mullins
(one of her most favorites songs ever!)

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